I should be sleeping!

I can hear my husband’s snoring through the floor. If my blood pressure would ever rise, this is the time for it to happen. When we were first married I did the loving wife gentle jostle to try and make him stop. Three months into our marriage I whispered a death threat into his ear and he stopped instantly. Almost twenty years later I sit on the couch and I decide to make a blog entry?

Again much has changed. We have learned a lot about Nathalia’s food intolerance’s, with one last set of Dr’s appointments to come we are feeling much more on solid ground. My husband and myself also managed to develop a couple which has explained a lot of the allergy and fatigue issues! We think we tracked it back to parasites that were undiagnosed in our daughter on her arrival from Haiti. She was very sick with lactose and soy intolerance issues so we think it masked the parasite, or they were testing too specific and missed what she may have had. Either way, we have treated the whole family and things are improving!

I am learning my food limits with this issue, my intolerances show as migraines. Not. Cool. I spend a lot of time in a housecoat (yes, I said housecoat-no I am not 80 years old). I wear my glasses and often times I feel like my hair looks like Doc from Back to the Future. I survive in a less than flattering state.

Now there are coyotes outside. I often wonder why they scream like hyenas? Living in an area that allows for some wildlife surrounding isn’t always wonderful. Like mostly at night. Or early in the morning when the woodpeckers were trying to get the pine beetles out of the trees, at 5:45. On the trees in back of our property. I digress…

I have grown as a person, in the sense that I can shake things off a little easier and I see my value more than I used to. Personal growth is hard, it doesn’t come naturally or with time. It truly is something you have to work at. These realizations don’t just happen with a birthday-it’s because you are willing to fight to believe in something more than you did before. I think you become tired of the status quo, and you want more for yourself.  For some people, they are tired of giving and they need their cup filled, either way, there comes a time when you know things need to change.

I am thankful for a God who is willing to stand by me when I am slow to learn, quick to be hurt or suspect, afraid and insecure in my place in this world.

I am thankful for a God who is willing to keep filling my cup, even when I spill His blessings and don’t seem to notice.

I am thankful for a God who waits for me as I come to the realization of the plan He has for me and my family. As I step out in faith, even though there is nothing there for my eyes to see, I will follow Him.

I have been working on something for my family, putting all this stuff together and making it work. I stepped out in faith, and when the doors opened I started to do the work. The reality is, I’ve done nothing. What has been done up till now has been all God, the timing, the doors opening, otherwise everything was not possible. I’m thinking God started the ball rolling and I stepped in and kept it going. Not so much.

It’s not about me. I am the vessel, I am the means to His plan. I asked for help, if this was in His will to make it happen. Clearly I am only the hands. God is in control, and I keep thinking I can get things done. Who are we to think we can do anything better than God by hanging onto things we ask Him for?

God has heard. God has given. Those were His words to me. I must trust in Him, my last piece of the puzzle will come.

Philippians 1:6 ~ Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…..